I Used to Love Him

So, I've been listening to Lauryn Hill's album lately, and the lyrics of one specific song struck so close to my heart that I have to share it. It's scary, really, just how true it is...and how amazing God is.

"I Used To Love Him"
Lauryn Hill

As I look at what I've done
The type of life that I've lived
How many things I pray the Father will forgive
One situation involved a young man
He was the ocean and I was the sand
He stole my heart like a thief in the night
Dulled my senses blurred my sight

I used to love him but now I don't
I used to love him but now I don't

I chose a road of passion and pain
Sacrificed too much and waited in vain
Gave up my power ceased being queen
Addicted to love like the drug of a fiend

Torn and confused wasted and used
Reached the crossroad which path would I choose
Stuck and frustrated I waited, debated
For something to happen that just wasn't fated
Thought what I wanted was something I needed
When momma said no I just should have heeded
Misled I bled till the poison was gone
And out of the darkness arrived the sweet dawn

I used to love him but now I don't
I used to love him but now I don't

Father you saved me and showed me that life
Was much more than being some foolish man's wife
Showed me that love was respect and devotion
Greater than planets deeper than oceans
My soul was weary but now it's replenished
Content because that part of my life is finished

I see him sometimes and the look in his eye
Is one of a man who's lost treasures untold
But my heart is gold I took back my soul
And totally let my Creator control
The life which was His to begin with

I used to love him but now I don't...

I mean, for those of you who know my history, I was completely lost in him - and I was almost a foolish man's wife. But My God didn't leave me, and this song is so pertinent in my life that I thank God for giving Lauryn Hill a gift that I am blessed by.

I feel like my new perspective on my past is portrayed nicely in the next excerpt:

"When It Hurts So Bad"
Lauryn Hill

When it hurts so bad, when it hurts so bad
Why's it feel so good?

I loved real, real hard once
But the love wasn't returned
Found out the man I'd die for
He wasn't even concerned
I tried, and I tried, and I tried
To keep him in my life
I cried, and I cried, and I cried
But I couldn't make it right
But I, I loved the young man
And if you've ever been in love,
Then you'd understand

What you want might make you cry
What you need might pass you by
If you don't catch it,
If you don't catch it,
And what you need ironically
Will turn out what you want to be
If you just let it,
If you just let it...

I mean, what I wanted so badly almost destroyed me, but what I needed ended up being exactly what I wanted - once I just let God back into my life. I just wanted to share these amazing songs - and recommend her album! It's been a great blessing to me.